He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
did you just send me my own nude
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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