we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
