i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
