Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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