Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
