Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
