We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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