I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
