I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize