Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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