just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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