I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
