I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
