what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
