yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
