Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize