I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
