All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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