the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How does one acquire holy water?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize