I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
