so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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