She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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