whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
