Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
