someone get that fucking seahorse.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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