When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
