Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
