I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize