Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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