You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
