Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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