My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
did i walk over a car last night?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
