Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
