new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
