What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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