Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I CAN MOONWALK!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
