I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
