shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
