i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
