And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you will always have a special place in my vag
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
