Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sponge bath it is.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
