I'm going to jail i love you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
