She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
