I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
