genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize