I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
