If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
