After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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