Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
