That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
