Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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