the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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