Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
