operation harelip BJ is a go
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
