How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm bleeding and have questions
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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