i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
