for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
