do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
